i have been lying in my bed for an hour, i have a spilting headache…and i try and i try to get some rest since its 2am…i was so exhausted taking care of my nephew from 11 up to 1am..he just couldnt sleep… and when he finally go to sleep..i was hoping that i could finally have some rest.. but unfortunately i couldnt… im going crazy.. i pulled my hair out hoping that i could fall to sleep… but it still doesnt work… 
Had a decent chat with K.I.. and he said something that just hit the spot..that i actually cried… life just isnt fair for most of us… eventhough we are nice to people…but i keep blaming myself for being too nice…. i blame myself for putting myself down.. i blame myself for all the things that happen to me… i blame myself for not being a better human.. i should remind myself that life is just life.. i should be more worried with the after life..but why am i so tied down with what is going on with my life at the moment???
i hide my sadness with the smile that i put on… i hide my emotion so well that no one cares how i actually feel… i dont see myself as a good human being because i am not one.. lately i have alot of near self – accident.. i am just not focus with life anymore… when im on the road..i just couldnt pay attention… i try not to give negative feedbacks when people tell me about their issues… i just dont know how far can i cope with handling everything…. cos my brain hurts so much…
i enjoyed every moment that i spent with my friends… i honestly enjoyed my busy schedule that i have running at the moment… cos it helps me clear out my mind from the things that i prefer to ignore in life… but once im back home… seeing all the papers everywhere is so stressfu!!!!……
anyway.. this is just one of the moment that im feeling down with myself…its my 2nd day of period…and im known to be so emotional when i have my period…. i just need to write this down to get the system off … cos i got a report due in 2 days time and a test… and next week.. presentation and reports and test!!! and the next next week… presentation, test and reports…and 1 week revision week (studying time) and then exam !!!!! waggghhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
