Like It Or Leave It

Good Morning…

Here i am, bored as ever, got nothing much to do at work to be honest, and my boss is back (damn) hehehehe…it means that he will have something for me to do later… oh well… at least it good to have him back and he knows that i got nothing to do.

Well last saturday i was reading this book called Where Rainbows End and to be honest i love the book. I couldnt put down the book, because i really wanted to know how it ends. The ending, they finally be together…but can you actually believe that at the age of 50!!!! then both of them decide that both of them were meant to be together…and the sad part was, the girl was single for 20years of her life, while the guy got married the second time. He wanted to wait for this girl to come to him, because she just gotten a divorce, but he couldnt wait, he didnt know what to do, so he have choose the first girl beside him to be his wife. When his single, she is not single, when she’s single, he is married, until he is 50 yrs old. If it werent for the girl’s only daughter ‘who told him about what her mother had felt decades ago, he wouldnt have told her how much he loved her’. After knowing the truth that the girl did had some feeling for him, he finally confronted her!!!

The moral of the story is that, ‘dont be afraid to confront to the person you love!!!, even though you do not know whether that person love you back or not, but its better to tell them now, because at the end you will regret yourself and wish you have turned back the time. I feel pity for the girl, i love the book, but it doesnt seem fair to the girl… and yes i end up crying because somehow the story line – it totally have an impact towards what i’m facing right now. And i still and wont confronted that someone even though i will end up being an old lady who is still single. *KNOCKWOOD!!!!*

well… to sum it up… the book is really nice, i love it. sad ending but at least … its better than both of them not ending up together..but sum up to Cecelia…the format/style of her book is unique, where she got her idea on making the whole book as a message instead of a story-line is really amazing. Salute to her.

Anyway….an old frenz of mine did this so called poetry for me…

” Decade shall pass,

Realise  your steps unbound by truth,

Seek a second look and you shall see there will always be the uneventful moment,

I amal, you Amal, She is amal,

my friend till decades pass,

abridged upon ur care and trust.”

All i can say to KI is… thank you for the so called poem… just hope that in 20 years time we shall still remains as friends because we’ve known each other since the 1st day of our school life, and despite you’re traveling here and there, we once again meet in MD and until now we are still friends as we were when we were kids.

As you can see from the above pictures, My colleagues (C & Y) took this pictures on their normal site visiting. I really love the spider pictures, because it totally look like anime or something that someone would draw, but he honestly took the picture and saw the spider, which you can see the last picture that is C’s shadow.However we are still trying to figure out, under which insect does the first three fall in….cos at some point it does look like a spider…but it can also look like a crab…. hmmm… anyone have any idea????

Hello To Those who actually read this blog or just passing through,

Well..once again here i am, to make another post on what has happened this pass few weeks…

End of 2007, my dad’s trueblood brother had passed away, and the sad part was, we didnt manage to say goodbye or seek forgiveness from him, and we didnt get to know him that well either…. [which is kindda weird - bcos ppl always think that if ure not close why should u grieve  like someone who is so close with him - thing is.... his our only uncle...and not matter what happen we still care and love him for who he was]

Early January 2008 – still feeling down with the lost of our uncle, took a day off from work to accompany my parents in KB, got scolded lots of times by the relatives…siggghhh…. 2nd week….things are still not good…feeling down somehow…depression alert was rising…3rd week…slowly stress level are decreasing but it is still there…]

To be honest i really missed 2007, bcos tat year…i was enjoying life, i had fun with my frenz…but rite now i honestly feel old…. i lost confident in everything i do… i honestly totally lost it…. my depression in 2005 is slowly coming back to me now… y????y????y????…. oh well.. life is a rollercoast… nothing is predictable… and life need to be a balance… happiness and saddness is a must in everyone’s life… thats wat make us Human….

First of all,i wanna say ‘to my uncle who just passed away’ for 20 years ++ you have shut yourself from the outside world, you were once a happy person, but suddenly you have change to someone that none of us knew…you tried to cut all of us from your life but since we are blood relation ‘we are as stubborn as you were’. We really do love you, you were once our favorite happy uncle, and we will always remember you as that person even though you had changed alot the last twenty years. May you rest in Peace and May Allah Bless You. Amin. Thats the highlight of my 2007, alot of things have happen this year…not so of the sad part, but quite alot on the happy part…but in life everything have to be balance. The death of my late uncle came a shock to all of us… he died in his room without informing anyone that he is in pain..no one knew when exactly did he died…because no one ever step inside his house until last night when the bomba had to knockdown his door. He didnt get married, so he actually lived all alone with no connection to the world outside. He shield his house so tight that walking at his compound is very dangerous. My dad side is known to be very stubborn people…my late grandfather was stubborn and my late uncle is also stubborn, and yes my father is also stubborn…as for my siblings and I – yes we are all very stubborn. Last time i saw my late uncle was 5 years ago during Hari Raya, he was carrying a huge bag when his frame is so small, and inside his bag was chains,and heavy metal stuff that you used for fixing cars, he was walking around KB and my dad sister’s saw her 2nd brother walking around that she stopped at the bus stop to convince him to come home, luckily we were passing that road, that we too stop on the side of the road and my dad ‘as the eldest brother, requested his little brother to come back home with us’, but he manage to runaway from us… after seeing our uncle like that ‘my sisters and I started to cry and question ‘what had happened that led to his unexplainable attitude???’ so many gossips were told, so many question never answered until now… his life have been a mystery to everyone including to his own family..no one knew what had happened… and now he have left us, with no answer to the question that we all want to know….  My Late Uncle was the type of person who doesnt like to bother people, his moto is…if you dont disturb me i dont disturb you, but unfortunately…people do disturb him, but he just keep it to himself. A week ago, he was release from the hospital, my dad wanted to bring him back, but he manage to shut himself in his house,so dad cant bring him back home.Within that week, he manage to go shopping for foods, he had spent $500++ worth of goods, and relatives are saying ‘he bought the foods because he doesnt want people to be burden for his death’. Imagine a small frame old guy, buying 2 or 4 bag of rice/tons of cans of food and carrying it on his own-the thought of it make me sad, because he did bought a car, but never used it, he always walk and uses the bus. So imagine him carrying everything, walking to the bus stop, carry it to his house… Hanya Allah sahaja tahu apa Uncle ku mengalami selama ini. I thought i wouldnt cry, since half of my life, i dont know him that well, but during the funeral, i just can’t stop crying at all.It wasnt an act of trying to get people’s attention, but it was from my heart, i do have uncle’s and aunty whom i love and cherish alot, but he was the only uncle who is 100% blood connection…and to not know you’re own uncle is sad…It felt as if we have lost someone who is so close eventhough from the outside we are not close, but in our heart’s Uncle you are always a part of us…we love you from the bottom of our heart, and hope that you are finally in peace.AMIN. Semoga Roh nya di cucuri rahmat. Amin. 

siggghh… she is getting on my nerve now… she is so naive…and yet when it comes to boys she is so cheeky!!!!???!!! but when it comes to doing her work, she gets frustrated so easily… complaining every single thing… why or why cant you act more professional???? she lash out her problems to innocent people, while she is suppose to guide them but instead she can make people more angry with the behaviour that she created…. i tried to be calm with her behaviour…but she is at the stage that she listen to no one….and act more superior when she is just a kid…i honestly want to be nice to her…but as the days pass by… you have been on my nerve…. 

The beginning of the worst have finally ended…. next stop is the starting of the worst… which is… FINDING MYSELF a STABLE JOB / BOYFRIEND / MONEY / CAR / hmmmm… what else??????

Anyway… my results is finally out… so once again i did bad… but heck I PASSED!!!that’s all what i want…i learned that life shouldnt be that hard…if u know u did well and yet the outcome is not as what you expect them to be… there is no point to pull yourself down… be happy and grateful with what you got… and accept it.. and that’s what im doing… i dont care what my degree classifications is… i know some people do care..(no offence) but yeah i had enough… all those millionaires and billionaires people didnt have 1st class or 2,1 for their degree… and most of them didnt have any degree…so why must we care… what’s important is….As long as u didnt give up with what you believe… then there is no reasons to pull yourself down… bla bla bla bla…im talking crap now… So far… all i can say…’i was a very hardworking person (WAS – in the past…eheheheh) and still the outcome of my results are BAD.. just accept it lahh….my parents learnt that they shouldnt keep on pushing us to the limit… because of reverse thingy … and when i told them i pass and dont expect too much on my grades… they were just happy =)

Well thats the end of my school life… working life???? siggghhh.. as the topic…it have been hectic!!!!! 2 weeks ago… the company launched ringback tone for easi user… to those easi user…who are complaining about the credit charges… as an employee to the company…we are very very very very sorry….i was a customer… n i know how painful it feels to find out that the credits that you had.. just PUFFFF dissapear like nothing… so once again very very sorry.. incase one of the ringback tone user are reading this blog…. its not easy for us these days…. and work have been increasing… and it seems that not one can be done within a day… siggghhh… and the boring part is….. we’re understaff…. and the phone just couldnt stop ringing for a minute…:-( …. so its been a hectic life… i havent been reading anyone’s blog these days…and boyyy… did i missed alot…hehhee… especially this girl that i really hate…well hate is a very harsh word… i DONT LIKE her… no no no….i dont like her at all… and she have been ranting about people disturbing her blog…. etc etc etc… makes me guilty for not reading what had happened da last two weeks… damn… hehehe… oh well… biar tia ia lahh… sama jua ia atu kambang… jgn terasa kamu ahh… sal she is the only human being that i dont like…. well… enuff of me ranting nonesense… 2mrw off with the bosses with the prize giving ceremony … I DONT WANNA GO!!!!!!!!!

oh yeah oh yeah… i saw Rano at work the other day… he still look the same, i think its been 3 years i know him… atu pun masa ia join JPMC…. n one of his friend like my friend (but both of our friend didnt hooked up).We know each other exist… but i dont know him that personally.. but it was great to see him… i did compliment him for being famous online.. i especially like his display picture on MSN (IM FAMOUS ON NET) something like that… and his reply to me…’ehhh famous ni, ada gambar dalam newspaper’ … kweng kweng kweng… all i could was ‘nada lahhh…bida kali ahh’… and back to my work.. while he had business talk with my boss…. but nevertheless… it was great to meet an old friend….

I found this picture from her and i think it is very useful for all the girls who wants their husband / boyfriend to be obey our orders… sexists as it may sound..but its kindda hilarious..

so guys out there.. Dont be insulted… and the females out there.. i think we really really need this remote hehehe

How do we decide if an individual have ‘professional’ attitude behaviour in the working environment???

Humans are very ignorance with their own behaviour and never realize or admit that at some point their behaviour might be professional or totally utterly childish…

Back to my earlier question, who are those that are categorize to be professional???

Obviously, those who higher education and those who have authorities would automatic think that they are being ‘professional’ because of the status that they are holding… isnt that kind of annoying??? what’s the point of you holding a higher position in a company and yet their action have been hard to accept!!!

I always learn that, in order for people to respect you, you have to respect people….

and i really find that hard to apply in the real world, working world are totally different, its not an easy task, and there is just too much peer pressure… two faced are easily found…and people who are not being corporative with one another… i sometimes think that people who tend to do a lot of ’sucking up’ are those who are professional… because… these type of people are usually the one who manage to succeed at the top more quickly than those who just stayed inside their shell… They know what they want, they know where to find the right connection in order to travel up the working status…

First of all wanna congrats to the DPMM football team, for winning tonite’s match 4-0!!!!!
And the best part of all, it was my first time watching Brunei’s football match after years of never setting foot in the stadium.. so technically i was very impress with the match tonite…kindda annoyed with the other team, sasak berabis ku!!!!pasal sikit sikit gugur… exsen sakit lagi tuu… sapa jua inda annoyed… kalau macam atu.. baik tahh jangan main bola lahh.. mun ulah mcm sissy…

anyway i just bored.. and i find out that its been a very very very long time that i havent log in over here.. so here is my post for the month of june…. byez

 i have been lying in my bed for an hour, i have a spilting headache…and i try and i try to get some rest since its 2am…i was so exhausted taking care of my nephew from 11 up to 1am..he just couldnt sleep… and when he finally go to sleep..i was hoping that i could finally have some rest.. but unfortunately i couldnt… im going crazy.. i pulled my hair out hoping that i could fall to sleep… but it still doesnt work…

Had a decent chat with K.I.. and he said something that just hit the spot..that i actually cried… life just isnt fair for most of us… eventhough we are nice to people…but i keep blaming myself for being too nice…. i blame myself for putting myself down.. i blame myself for all the things that happen to me… i blame myself for not being a better human.. i should remind myself that life is just life.. i should be more worried with the after life..but why am i so tied down with what is going on with my life at the moment???

i hide my sadness with the smile that i put on… i hide my emotion so well that no one cares how i actually feel… i dont see myself as a good human being because i am not one.. lately i have alot of near self – accident.. i am just not focus with life anymore… when im on the road..i just couldnt pay attention… i try not to give negative feedbacks when people tell me about their issues… i just dont know how far can i cope with handling everything…. cos my brain hurts so much…

i enjoyed every moment that i spent with my friends… i honestly enjoyed my busy schedule that i have running at the moment… cos it helps me clear out my mind from the things that i prefer to ignore in life… but once im back home… seeing all the papers everywhere is so stressfu!!!!……

anyway.. this is just one of the moment that im feeling down with myself…its my 2nd day of period…and im known to be so emotional when i have my period…. i just need to write this down to get the system off … cos i got a report due in 2 days time and a test… and next week.. presentation and reports and test!!! and the next next week… presentation, test and reports…and 1 week revision week (studying time) and then exam !!!!! waggghhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!